sketched

just something I made... :) faceless makes it good. why? because my poker face isn't great.

At times, I feel like my expression betrays my emotions - especially ones that are genuinely overwhelming - that I try so hard to hide.

I love this guy so much right now...



I miss him so bad, I feel like I'm on the verge of turning horny Hehehehe just kidding :p but yes, I totally miss him!! :( I miss spending time with him. So I just had to blog about him, using my iPhone just cause I wanted to do that asap. *sigh* I want to see him :( I haven't heard his voice in a few days now. I mean, we text almost everyday but that just isn't the same :( I miss how he makes me feel, how caring he can be. How warm his body is~ fufufufufu.. :'(


I love u baby :(

Supernatural

I don't know why, but I've been watching "supernatural" (I started on season 1 the last week of november now I'm halfway through season 3) non-stop for the past few days. BUT, I haven't actually had a bad dream?

Am I asking for it by wondering why not? D: Well... I just thought if I immersed myself in something so dark and 'supposedly' scary, I'd have equally dark dreams :(

Not that I want that hehehehehe... but I just assumed I would. My sister, who is my temporary roomie at the moment since my room is still barren =___=); *cough* YEP, still~! well yeah, she said that I laughed in my sleep a few nights ago. hehehehe creeped her out :p I don't remember what I dreamt of that night though~ *shrugs*

I've been trying to do every bit I can to help my dad you know, like pay for my own paint and actually paint my own walls by myself and decorating everything by myself to save him the trouble of getting pissed at them for not doing it properly, cause they've been doing such a bang up job on everything else so far! Yes, please note the sarcasm, because I don't think I slathered it on my sentence thick enough. Basically if I would just like to get my room done, so I can sleep in my own privacy. GEEZ~ If I had the skills to be a carpenter and like have the necessary equipments I would just frickin' take the job of doing it myself! EVERYTHING DONE BY ME. IF I COULD. Seriously, it gets annoying to rely on them stupid buttheads of a worker. *smacks their heads one by one*

I'm not complaining, it's fun~ Painting my room was fun! Tiring and it got me a little sore from stretching and being on the ladder for hourssss on end definitely affected me but yeah... I actually made it to be one of my 'mini project' I mentioned earlier. I have several mini projects :) it's to keep me busy and to keep me from going crazy, because I've been asked to hole up inside the house ;D because apparently if I go out twice a week or heaven forbid THRICE... my dad would accuse me of 'bejalan saja jua'.

I simply cannot understand why he's always having a cow these days! Seriously, he raises his voice at every single thing, it's like EVERYTHING is frickin' offensive to him. You make a statement that's missing a few details he argues and attacks you like nobody's business. I mean WHAT THE F---!

So we, and by 'we' I mean my mom-- her especially and my sister and I fall victim to his mood swings. It's like, I used to be in my parents room for most of the day, but now I avoid it just because I don't want to have to hear him pick a fight or argue with us.

Then when you say he's getting mad, he'll say who's getting mad? or like he says oh so now I can't comment without people thinking I'm angry? -_______-) cheh... My dad loves to argue, he thinks that keeps his brain working and sharp. Though that's all good and all that he's trying to keep his mind well-oiled and stuff.

But omg, PLEASE. sometimes he does it too much and I just get so fed up and heaven forbid if your expression changes to a sour one, it's like you're damned. It's succcch a big offense. So nowadays, I keep a blank expression at all times-- point is, don't look happy, because once that expression changes to an expression of "what the fuck did I do?" or basically your expression turns sour. He'll get mad at that too. *scratches head* I JUST DON'T GET IT.

I am sooo going crazy~! And people wonder why I'm cranky or just out of it most of the time. *sigh* just stab me now for being a cliched misunderstood teena-- oh shiz, I'm 20! Fuck I'm old. Well that's odd and slightly embarrassing. I'm not suffering from teen angst. AHAHAHAHAHA. :p

Wah... I bet my blog is just swamped with words of rant... or just chunks of paragraph. I should post up pictures of what I've done to my room soon. Just to have a nice neutral post~ :3 I should blog about my nephew soon too~

His face changed :) As does all babies for the first few weeks of their lives. He's getting chubbier :3 yay for baby Aidan~ congratulations is necessary on how handsome my nephew has become! :D lolololol.

I just totally digressed from the initial reason of posting up this entry... LOL. supernatural has become from me complaining I'm not getting out enough to my dad making the three of us uneasy to small bits about my room and then my nephew.

*yawn*

Well things I planned didn't exactly go as planned :P

We haven't had that sleepover because my dad seems to have given up on pushing the workers to get started on my furnitures. *sniff* thank you for that, daddy. =____=);

Secondly I haven't spent much time with my girls :( I suppose it's cause I book them a lil later than what I intended. Ho well~ I've only been out twice. TWICE! D: and I've had my holidays for over a week now. Well thrice, cause I went out with Nabs yesterday for brunch ;)

Not entirely sure if I should text Fahrul... on one hand, I kind of miss him because I haven't seen much of him lately nor have we like really talked to each other. But then again, he's become one heck of a popular/famous/in demand broad-- as in, he's always out and about with errands or his girlfriend or his other varied group of friends. I haven't even taken him for a ride or driven him around.

You see, I made a promise to myself that I would drive around people that have helped me or driven me, AT LEAST once :( But some aren't just giving me the chance to *sigh* what thiiiiissss? how can I tunaikan my own janji meh? D: One reason for me doing this is because I'm like 75% sure that at one point, some of them are bound to think that I was using them for a ride. Not a nice thought to leave on someone's head-- not really the kind of impression I'd like to leave on someone's mind. Point is, I haven't even done this simple task! D:

See, nothing going as planned! Soooooooo frustrating~

But I guess my losing weight thing is going alright :) I've been fasting and exercising and following an energy equation thing. Sooooo~ hopefully I've lost what I expect to lose.

Thiiiiiiiissssssssssssss.................
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
is a butterfly! XD hehehehe.. sorry I haven't blogged much :p busy with my mini projects :p