Look a little closer...

If you had looked just a little closer, you'd see that I'm different from the others. You'll see my worth, my flaws and yet, me being just another human being with emotions.

At first, I'm just like any other, from afar -- from just a mere scan or a passing look. You'll think; "oh okay, she seems like the others, treat her in so and so way, play your cards right and you'll gain everything."

I've been feeling rather jaded lately, well not jaded per se, but you know... I feel much less, "flowery". So you know what I've decided to do? To get that magic feeling once more? The feeling that love is ultimate, it makes you feel alive and that imperfections just made your love seem more beautiful because overcoming that obstacle IS ell-oh-vee-ee (LOVE) ♥

.... I've been watching Disney Movies. Nothing like awakening that little kid in you, that little girl with blind naivete, who was constantly hoping to fall into a love that seems sooo perfect and believing that life is a fairytale; that families loved you and that friendship was true and that love gave you the courage to take that leap of faith in an instance without hesitation, without any doubt no what ifs not maybes. nothing.

So yes, disney classic movies are delectable little things~ x)

cute picture of a cat that seems to blend quite well into that row of onigiri :P

:')

One of my favourites ♥ ♥ This song says a lot about how it's hard for us to say things to our girlfriends when it comes to the skeletons of our own relationships with our significant other. It eats u slowly inside and boy oh boy, does it take a lot of practice to pretend to be all happy in front of your friends.



It makes me tear up a bit whenever I listen to this, cause I find it to be beautiful to have those kind of friends. Plus it's a nice video clip, love how they followed sex and the city :3

It's after midnight and I'm youtubing all these emotional songs. lol. Thought I'd share this one.

hah. wow.

So... someone posted up their status as:

"Nothing is bigger than love."

and you know, back then I'd have liked that status in an instance and gave a smile emoticon to it.

But something's different now, isn't it? I don't know why I changed or how it happened or since when this began, but I seem to feel about things quite differently... instead the thing that instantly came into my head was "are you sure? I beg to differ"

and I commented on it with this: "heh... sure." after I hit the 'comment' button. I gasped.

Omg. I turned slightly cynical! x_x

Yup, so much for supporting young love. I just peed all over that young girl's notion of love. I'm like the grinch for love or something. Like whut? what in the world is happening to this hopeless romantic? Aging, growing and living isn't exactly a good thing is it? It changes people and their perspectives.

Ahh... well. I might've just hit a little ditch or pothole in the road. Maybe my PMS is coming soon (^_^)v

no alterations.

nothing but the light form the sun.

shopping is a sanctuary

Let's just say... my camera is being anal. So yeah... Bad quality pictures using the laptop webcam x)

tops and belts

jewelleries and compact mirrors

PJs, robe, bras and panties

random stuff that I bought out of sheer spontaneity. they were either cute or I *thought* I needed them.

have I mentioned my pictures are reflected? lol. well, they are.

Furla Bag

Gucci Bag

Longchamp bag... In case you're fashion illiterate. It's pronounced Laun-shamp. If there was audio, I'll have explained better. but yeah it's defintely not long and then champ. It's french, not english x)

I found a better picture of my bag :D

I guess this I shall use for more formal occasions :)

Here's a list of what I bought during my two weeks plus days in UK:

The "clothing" category:

13 tops

2 jumper/jacket

4 PJs - shirt

3 PJs - a set of shirt and pants

20 pair of Undies

5 bras

1 Jeans

1 Jeggings (again if you don't know, that's a pair of leggings that looks like jeans)

8 pair of socks

2 headscarves from tie rack

mostly bought from next, zara, jane norman and dorothy perkins.

The "accessories" category:

3 necklaces

3 bracelets/bangles

3 rings (+1 for him)

3 belts

2 compact mirrors

a 'Burberry' wallet

a laptop bag

an 'Uncommon' iPhone casing

spectacles casing

The "make up" section:

curling iron

make up brushes

an eyeliner

mascara

The "stationary" category:

2 pen-drives

several cute page clips

several keychains

a lion and bear bookmark

drumstick pencils

And uhmmm...

2 umbrellas

a cool door sign that say "be nice or leave" lol. I know right... impulsive buying.

some chocolates

boyfriend gave me Dr. Dre beats headphones

and as you can see from the pictures earlier on... Bags.

I regret not pushing myself not buying...

the camera

the salvatore ferragamo bag

and the iPad

people were so against me buying them... well they advised me to do otherwise... and now I regret listening to them. *stabs table repeatedly*

Cambridge

Cambridge is a nice place. I love the old buildings, I especially love the shopping centres, the people aren't half bad either... :) I mean, they aren't racist and some are quite friendly, except for a bullshit few. hohoho... well not racist exactly, but you know, they aren't that amiable to be around.

Please don't wonder if I had fun with my boyfriend from the beginning of the 8th (date that he was suppose to come visit me down in Cambridge) BECAUSE I DIDN'T! :( the most dreadful thing happened, he and I couldn't meet up due to uhmm.. unforseen circumstances which required him to stay in London *sniff* and I'm left to feeeeeel mighty desolated but thank goodness for retail therapy :D I spent over £600 in just four shopping trips!! Isn't that just marvelous? teehee~ :D

I bought like... 10 tops, including two cardigans. A belt... stationaries, perfume... I also bought a looooot of necklaces, a few rings and braceletes, a new ''baju'' for my iPhone and a lot of pyjamas and bras and panties and omg~ I have CUTE pendrives. huhuhu and get this, I bought socks :P I know right, I buy the oddest things when I'm on a shopping craze, I'm seriously out of control XD and I bought a lil something for my friends. I thought of buying them something cute, but practical at the same time? something I know they'd use for at least once in their lifetime-- also something unisex. lol. YES, that's right~ I bought all of you cute little portable cameras! XD pfffttt not :P (sorry bui, u know who u are, inda cukup duit ku balikan camera)

And oohhh~ I met a friend of mine :P won't say who, but yeah, she came with her boyfriend, he seems like a cool guy so far, hope it'll only get better. I hope this one's the one :3

Weather's been gloomy since the day after we arrived, seems like the rains coming in at a lot of parts of the UK. So since it'll be all wet, I gave myself the liberty of buying a new broli :D and a nice jacket to keep me warm -- though I don't use it, but it was Zara and it was cute :P

I cannot wait for the 15th! I'll FINALLY be able to see my boyfriend and hug him *sniff* I miss him so much, it's hard being in the same country, yet still not being able to see him. It's like, he's just a train or two away; so close, yet so far... so very very far. Hmmm... everything's been great so far! :D it's just that my Aunt is making things a little unbearable sometimes, she's like annoying sometimes and says unncessary things that just about pisses me off every time. I mean honestly, I know you're kirakan a 'guest', but darn it! GUESTS are also expected to act and behave in a certain way, geez... stop being so selfish... =_= ''If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all'', other than that, everything's just fine and dandy :D

Accomodation is great here, I'm staying at my sister's place, Cambridge University has a very nice campus right... and well, it's awesome that my sister has HDtv and a ps3 and wii and like... I've been playing Red Dead Redemption and Heavy Rain on the ps3 with my 2nd sister and Let's Dance on the wii with my first sister. It's nice :) family time and bonding and all that shiz :P

I pretty much do go online... I just don't exactly uhmmm... stay on for very long-- I basically just check on my game on facebook, so that's why I'm fianlly blogging about all this now. Just to squeeze in a quick update. So please don't get offended if I don't get back to your facebook thingies ASAP. I just don't really have time... X)

take it in

Have you ever felt, in an instance... that you're the ugliest thing there is? that nothing about you is beautiful, neither inside nor out. Like being held or seen as something beautiful is something that you are not suppose to ever experience....I just feel like a fool. Unworthy and worthless. I'm...Ugly and you shouldn't trust me... I'm to blame for it, no really. It's really hard for me to actually see my worth right now. Even as these tears fall, I see no reason why I should even cry. If you can't make me feel beautiful then I guess I'm not. If I can't make myself feel beautiful then I really must be fuck ugly... let's be ugly on the inside too. I put myself down and I'll try not to give a shit to any self-defecating remarks I make of myself. Take it in, take it like a man and face it alone.

❤ me

BAAGS :D

Here are some of the bags from guess, dior, burberry and coach that I like... hehe... I hope I can find at least one of 'em once im there :3 They're mixed up, I didn't categorise them. But as you can see, I picked quite a few hobo styled bags :D

I had a few clutches that caught my eye, but those are like not what I'm looking for at the moment. AAAND I'm crossing out salvatore ferragamo out my list, because well, though it's something I'd like - unlike LV patterns - it's waaaaay too expensive for me. Cheapest I found was like 1,300+ pounds! XD lol. so let's not buy that yet~ I want to spend on other things first :p that being said I'm looking forward to UK.