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Sarcastically I want to say, DAMN, I love how you have repeatedly proven me wrong every time I put even an OUNCE of trust in what you say to me. *sigh* I thought you were a good man, but now... Now I have no respect at all for just how much your word is worth. Manipulative as you are, I'm a better liar and I have better womanly instincts so even if my heart says I still love you, my head just tells me to keep in digging for I should not let take people's word at face value because they have in fact lied to me when I blindly trust them :)

So I found out that okay, it's time for me to move on, like REALLY move on because just a few hours before this, I was still hoping for a future with you :'( deep down, I don't know what I want, my heart isn't stable enough to know whats good for me. If he wants me he will have to try hard.

Jokingly... I've said that if I end being damaged from this ordeal; like I'd never trust a man or end up not marrying anyone then, you will feel my wrath. Not sure that will follow through, but fuxk it la, let's just believe that I will, in the heat of the moment of my fury :) I am hurt beyond words and ashamed beyond reason and embarrassed beyond and means of redemption. I loved you so much that I started to love your mom already. You are short-sighted. I can totally say that; it's a euphemism of something I'd like to say but dont actually have the heart to say, out of love for ur mom and respect for your whole family.

I really hope you and your new lady friend will have the time of your lives :) I'm done feeling angry, I know my heart will automatically constrict or feel heavy whenever I see your face or hers. But don't mistake it for my weakness; my tears or my pain aren't a sign that Ive lost in the battle of wills-- it simply means I was humane and sincere enough to feel what I felt and that you should feel very much honored to have me love you.

And you know what? From this I can tell who my real friends are, your mom has been telling me that there will be a Hikmah in all this, maybe just one or two, maybe even a few, but I feel like one of them is knowing that I do have people who care about me and who love me to know that I'm SO WORTH IT, despite the distance or the short period of time they have known me.