.

It's a fuxking shame that I have to put myself in this same situation all the fuxking time. Repeatedly over and over again. Like what? Do you find this amusing? That you keep on pushing and pushing me to my limit.. Are you trying to see me breakdown and cry? Do you want to see if I'll stick around if you give me a hard time? Do you huh? DO YOU?! Bloody pig.

Ahemahem

Sorry that the pictures from the past few posts have been monumentally huge! X) hehehe... Im using my iPhone to blog nowadays... Hee... It's like I don't need a laptop. I've been using this for basically evth! To send emails, wirte essays, joy down notes or schedules, take pictures, blog, do research, watch videos, make recordings and whatnot! Most of all, it's an mp3 AND can entertain me with all it's gamesssssss!

It's an awesome gadget. I really dont know why some people deny the awesomeness of this smartphone. Like, don't be hatin' and generalise iPhone-users as common sheeps-- Well okay lah, I know some are being sheeps cause it's a trend or fad to get this phone, but honestly, it's a great investment and like I've mentioned before, it serves as more than a phone. So sheep pun sheep la~ hahaha personally I got it because of the games. I'm a "softcore" gamer. HAH! x) so it suits me well :p

I admit I love Nokias, but it's not like an iPhone at all :) blackberry is kinda cool too. Idk abt the new one, but the old one kinda had a lame joystick-like button navigator thing.

Our business (ad)venture

Haven't blogged much! Life has been ungraceful nor unyielding with my race against time~ Life as we know it, is never a walk in the park-- well my life isn't that bad, but you know~ i get the occasional headache every now and then. Especially what with all the weddings happening and these big projects going on at our school. *sigh* I don't like being dragged to places or be asked to do things when I'm on work mode. I'd just really appreciate it if they let me rest and work at my own pace/time.

Well, thing is the big projects for school ate quite refreshing and fun~ in a way it's fun because we're actually being asked to do things; we're going to do enterprising in April and this month; March: we're asked to come up with a business proposal and actually register the company if need be! awesome stuff :3 but it's a lot of work~ :(

Yesterday we went to the "mahkamah" with the intention of registering out company's name~ :D

Okay! Pictures~!




They're trying to look serious for the camera :p

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Then burst our laughing~ XD hahahah awesome :p

Then fahrul suggested that we go to this place in Beribi to try out this drink~ hehehe... It was nice, a little too sweet for my liking. I don't have much a sweet tooth, IDK why~Well, thats just a few of the pictures :) later~!

My heart longs for you...

I miss him again~ Hee... I can never get tired of feeling the need to want to see him :) it's just great the way I still have those feelings even after a very long time of being together! :D

Its so sad that even looking at his picture can make my heart go ♫ badunkadunkdunk~ ☻


Lol, now that's kind of like lustful I think, or NOT! I think it's more love ♥ Hee~


Anyhoos~ I bought him a gift. It's suppose to be for his birthday but like, that seems way to soon~ I guess it'll do~ He likes red. Thus the choice of color ;)


I hope he likes it! Giving it to him via his momma! They're paying him a visit this Easter~ how trés bien!

Mama's Birthday~

Happy 56th Birthday Mumzy Dearest!

Love you a whole lot woman! hehehehe~ It was my mama's birthday today, we celebrated by having a 'doa selamat' which I suppose roughly translates to a celebration of thanks; a thank you to her long life :)

Then we surprised her with chocolate cake! Funny story about that~ hehehe... my sister in law, Kaka Maya was confused when Kaka Mizah cut the cake with ease. See, she thought the cake would be much difficult than that to cut~

"Eh steady jua Mizah cut cake atu ah" she said to me
"Hahahah napakan?"
"Cause ka maya last time cut the cake, it was so hard, like you really had to use all your strength"
"Ehh... did you want to order 'Ever Crunchy' kah?"
*looks doe-eyed* "OMG, awwwuuu boohhh marah abg ni nis"


Lol, apparently Abang wanted the Ever Crunchy and she ordered chocolate crunch :p hehehe awwwh well~ haha x)



Here's dear ol momma cutting the cake :)


Here's the cake: Happy Birthday Dearest Mama. Luv your family.



Okay, now check this fatty out! hahahahah... omg so cuteee and chubby I wish to squishhhhh himm!! SQUISH!! (okay, people it's just a figure of speech!) Don't accuse me of child abuse :O


"I ARE SQUISHABLE"

Sexy.

"I'm Lexi, like... Sexy~!!"

IKR, totally random. Just a phrase from ugly betty. totally stuck to me for some very odd odd odddd reason *shrugs* bite me. HARD.... on the ass, for my candidness.

Here's an irksome or rather tiresome theory. People's take on sexy. SO what's sexy? what defines sexy or being sexy or looking sexy or well being the 'sex'. I just naturally assume that's another form of the sexy word sexy. hehehe... hope that confused you a bit :p In all honesty, labeling things is already tiring and putting the word "sexy" to something is even MORE tiresome. Like, the definition is soooo overused and yet, there isn't an exact mono way of defining in. NO! actually WORDS are tiring. why the fuck do we have to even use them?

BLAH! okay... anyways, back to what I was saying.

Let's be technical with it first, what "defines" sexy? By definition of the dictionary... Here's what the word means:

sex·y (sĕkˈsē)

adjective sexier sex·i·er, sexiest sex·i·est

1. Arousing or tending to arouse sexual desire or interest.
2. Slang Highly appealing or interesting; attractive: “The recruiting brochures are getting sexier” (Jack R. Wentworth).

Heh... That's pretty basic stuff right there. Now, here's to a much wider scope of definition. Things can never BE more complex in today's modern world :p It's cause we peeps from the modern era are so coo' like that~ *snorts* x) Before I continue any further, I'd like to say that *ahem* this is a minor POV of one teeny tiny person :p i.e. moi~ hehehe, but with close references to the other girls I hang out with.

Aside from the ALREADY complexity of how describing people's personality-- not just looks as sexy is already a trifle confusing and full of variations.

I know for a fact that there are people who find guys that are loud-mouthed and well, crude-ish and aggressive and sooo full of himself and assertive, as sexy. I just find that overbearing.

Then there are girls who find a man who has a huge intellectual capacity but is so down to earth about it as being sexy. To me, that's cool and all, but iunno~ kinda boring.

My kind of sexy is sort of a mix of both, with a tinge of exuding confidence. Someone who can strike up a conversation; both intellectual and pretty much random or plain stupid/humorous-- with just about aaaanyonee~ :) Though sometimes, the degree of confidence I like in a guy combined with his playfulness maaaay sometimes lean towards the cocky side. which might be a tad aggravating for some girls, but I find adorable! X) pasal durang kambang and its so cali~ HAHAHAHA.


As for looking sexy? Hmmm...

I know that some women find the unshaven tousled, unmade bed-hair look sexy. Some like guys with an expression of coolness -- or well hard expressions with a "I'm-a-better-class-of-itinerant" look attractive. Well I find some of those sexy, depends on the guy, if he can carry that look well then okay yeah, hubba-hubba that totally works for youuu baby~ lol.

I like guys who brood. weird huh? I like it if they're all serious looking around everyone~ or just like, most of the time if he isn't talking lol. Because it makes his smile all the more heart-warming! when he flashes those pearly whites at me... like *melts* HEEHEE ♥

While others find themselves attracted to the challenge of a guy's character sexy, like wanting to make a bad boy good. Lol. Or something like that~ to me that's a 'sexy' situation. Ahhh~ I'm beginning to lose sight of what I'm doing.

*cricket sounds*


Hmmmm... sometimes I wonder if I have ADD. heheeheheh.. whoops! I think I'm just tired... what the hell was I thinking blogging about this so early in the morning? LOL! Goodbye!

And farewell thee~~ fair month of february~

The lil darling~

Whenever I look at my nieces or nephew I think of childhood memories. CHILDHOOD; our days of purity and innocence- those blissful days of our lives, when mistakes were forgiven, because we were still learning how to perceive the world and the people in it :) I find that a child's upbringing affects a shitload of how that child will turn out~ It's really frightening isn't it what we all will go through one day? Because how we bring up our child, and how their childhood turns out will reflect greatly on their character~

But I seriously like how my sister raised my niece. She's a good mom, well on most parts, there are some parts where I find it to be unnecessary but my sister's done an awesome job with Aysya :D Anyways, my old love for poetry is resurfacing when I talk about things like this. Here's one of the poems I like, my collection of poetry from other poets. :p not my own okay? lol. It's to do with childhood. I forgot to copy the title down on my book though :/

Some people have a childhood garden
Filled with green and growing things
Some people have a childhood garden
Filled with purple peonies
Mine is sere
Throughout the year
Nothing grows here

Some people have a childhood rainbow
A sea of colors all aglow
Some people have a childhood rainbow
Red to violet in a row
Mine is gray
Bow of clay
Without a ray

Some people have a childhood temple
Covered with a million treasured dreams
Some people have a childhood temple
A sunny Wat of Gods and kings
Mine is plain
Squats in the rain
Functional 'n sane

Where childhood memories abound
Life flows vividly around
Where childhood memories have fled
Hearts lie dead

By Tim Bovee

Sad isn't it? :( *sigh* well alhamdulillah my childhood's above average :p I mean there are certain things I wish didn't happen but whatever x)

My skillsss :p

I have mad interior designing skills. LOL jk jk~ but yeah, I can design stuff :) it's FUUUNN :D I should hone this slight gift I have... hahaha and turn it into something awesome possum! x)


Here's one of the things that I designed ;) There's just something satisfying with seeing the whole thing being put together in real-life :) I'm a tad bit proud of myself. That I can envision things.

This was the first draft of my drawings, with minor verbal adjustments later on made to improve it; because as we all know, making something nice takes time and progressive planning, besides ideas come naturally at the oddest moments.



(oh woops, it's upside down :p)
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AND THEN~ here is how it looks like when "off paper" :D





Well, the whole thing is still incomplete though, but yeah~ feels kinda awesome for me every time I look at it :) Because I know I was the one who envisioned it. These are my sister's built-in furniture that she asked me to draw up and design by the way :)

I might post up the end product, because I think I'm going to help my sister decorate it and stuff. I am so excited for herrrrr and the new room! heheheh... JUST IMAGINE how excited I'll be for my own room nanti! x) huahauahauhaa...

yeah... pity that they haven't even started on my room =/ No matter...

Good things comes to those who wait....
(no matter how impatiently I've waited for it)

Hehehehe okay, well, until next time!

I gots a haircut :3

Awesome Possum yes? :p hehehehe

*grumble*

I am so grumpy as of late...



Cute picture huh? lol.

For some reason, I look at this picture and I see a couple that's going through a fight :p see the black cat is the male cat cause he's got a lil patch of moustache :P hahahah and the grey stripey cat is the chick cat menjaling the dude cat cause he was being mean! hehehe.. Look how prettily she's putting her paws neatly folded in front of her x) so cute.

small rant

I honestly get disgusted when I see people googling profane, perverted and mundane things online and they end up on my site-- THIS SITE. It's mind boggling that without fail, I would have AT LEAST one search hit each month that's of this nature... kenapakan tu? =__=);

I'm also beginning to feel like Faizul is getting too busy for me, though in reality it might not be a bad thing-- I mean, it's not really my place to feel like this because I know he does make time if he can. I just want to prattle on with my petty feelings and see if this leads me to a good place. Evidently, it isn't doing much good... I miss him. I really miss him. To the point of where I want to just gnaw on a random guy and mold his face to look like my baby whilst ghastly gnawing and the poor fellow. EEEEHH~!!! I do not want to turn to a Psycho GF okay? But he likes acting like this... he keeps me on my toes and makes certain things a mystery so I'll be hooked on him. THING IS KAN, he has to let up once in a while AND for a longer period of time nowadays because I just get sooooo... lonely.

I'm trying to be positive for the new year, so far though? Not going well... Y____Y please please please God, jangan jadikan aku org yang suka murkha with the dunia around me. ehhhh...

Buduh facebook ani eh! BUDUH! I hate it now.... hate youuuu for connecting people!! sometimes I want certain people to NOT BE CONNECTED to eachother. *glares angrily* Do not kick me when I'm down! Don't suddenly show me that one person that I dislike being so good friends with someone I don't like OR show me that my goodfriend is suddenly friends with a stupid ex boyfriend of mine AND don't show me what my boyfriend is up to! Though the last one is hardly a recurring thing... He's like so MIA :'(


SOMETIMES SOME THINGS ARE BETTER LEFT UNTOUCHED, UNTURNED, UNKNOWN, UNSEEN and UNSAID!



Oh and p/s, I "unfollowed" you because you're a vapid-sounding bitch. You stuck up snob and your need to attach a price to everyone and everything! Screwwww youuu laa!

*ahem* sorry that I sound angry all of a sudden, I went to twitter and facebook and it made me angry.

Red Lips

Is it wrong of me to think that the red lipstick made my lips look sexy? hahahaha...


I think I might jussssst start wearing darker shades of lipstick. Anyways! my hair is so bloody long now~ O_O makes me wonder if I should cut it short soon....


.... yeah like this short?

How about that huh? I had short hair like... 3 years ago. hahaha... excuse the retarded expression! I was in one of my silly spells :p

Farewell 2010

I've to say, I'm the kind of girl who dwells in the past... not saying I live in it per se, I just always have remnants of the past in me; it's like I refer back, maybe think of it and just basically be reminded of the emotions it had put me through. Mostly I dwell on bad memories, constantly thinking of the regrettable things I've done.

I might not show it, but I have a hard time dealing with guilt. I just take it all in, try to do what I can to make it good, but never really... a hundred percent succeed in getting the guilt to go away. But one of the things I've come to realize, that makes it hard for me to look past the past is something about me that makes me who I am~ I think what that is, is that my flaw is so obvious: I procrastinate, I am always guilty of my actions and I don't listen - which makes me unable to learn. Plus, I get easily offended by what people say. (not sure if this makes sense - my logic is illogical kadang2nya)

So sometimes, when I can't handle their criticism, when I take it as if it's an insult and that they're saying those things because they don't love me or they're just so 'judging', then I find that I'm never going to learn! So I blurt our words of whatever I have at the tip of my tongue and sometimes it ain't the best of words... I seriously don't think most of the time. =)

But don't get fooled, I do know when someone is trying to say what's best for me (despite me still getting pissy at them for saying those things) as opposed to someone who's just saying mean things for the sake of being the "superior one" or just out of spite :p I wasn't born yesterday~ I may be naive, but not naive to everything.

So why am I saying this? I suppose I want to say goodbye to these flaws, things that negates me from being a better person. I won't make this my resolution because I have a tendency, like most people - to not follow them through. But you know, I still have trouble forgetting bad memories... sometimes I remember them more than I do the good ones. I'm odd that way huh?

I know that this post is way overdue, almost three weeks into the year of 2011~ only NOW am I thinking of doing such a post :p I suppose I still wish that this time now, was then. The 'then' of when I could have taken a different step of what I get now.

You reap what you sow, and what I got isn't something I'm proud of :) but it's not that bad. Here's to a hopeful 2011! *raises glass

I've realized that some people; more specifically a girl that I thought of befriending, is very superficial... she seems to favor people who are prettier. That kind of vapid shallowness isn't what I look for in a friend. Plus she just thinks the world of her possessions, nothing else - which I might add, is somewhat pretentious of her. *gags*

I also found that some people hurt the ones that are closer to them because they feel comfy hurting them... or maybe, that's just me trying to see the light of things... maybe they're just being bitchy? That's me being absolutely harsh. I can't understand why people can be so bipolar. =__=);

I have also come to understand that ties that I have with my friends... aren't "evergreen", if anything they are ever-changing; I've drifted apart with quite a few of you, some are still around and things have changed - some for the better some for the worst. I'll say, whatever! I'm thankful for those who have stayed :) but I won't forget those who've come and gone. I am, as I said earlier, someone who seriously likes to dwell on the past.... =___=);

More importantly, thank you 2010, for giving me bites of what reality is; for all the dramas, the highs and lows! ;D I might have gotten a beating out of it, but at least I've grown a little.





I shall end it with a stupid yet typical-of-me picture! hehehe...


Oh and just so you know, my relationship with my boyfriend has been drama-less :p Yay! it's time for the stability phase! :D AMIN AMIN! Still, I get pissed at looking at girls adding him up on facebook and him accepting it just because he accepts everyone and uhmmm... him liking pictures of girls~ for the love of me I cannot understand that bit. But I see other girls' boyfriends doing it to me. So nyehh~ guess its normal (?) They still love their gf, right? I know I don't go around liking guys' pictures on facebook. lol. Do not see the point of it, unless its pictures of my boyfriend in 'em! x) Maybe its a gender difference thing~ *shrug*

Although that gets me good in the gut-- or heart, yes still does. BUT... antah! whateverrr~ I'm not going to give him hell for it. I've stopped caring about petty things... I just hope he stops doing it just because I'm very understanding about the whole thing :p

Man, I'm beginning to sound like a try-hard at growing up to be a young adult! HAHAHAHA
PFFT! well I'm twenty now. Might as well start freaking somewhere~

Motherly...

Okay yeah, I do feel like I look old in this picture :p I feel quite motherly whenever I look at it. Even my hair was up in a (slightly loose) bun! xD

I kinda think I have quite a knack for holding babies. Despite my morbid fear of snapping their bones when I hold newborns or babies that are only shy of being less than 6months old. I have very nice "pillows" on me LOL, cushiony to even the biggest of *cough* "babies". Plus I am omfg-warm! x) I'm like the perfect bed of warmth to sleep on~ :p

Baby Aidan and I :) *points to picture*