Gosh

I fucking love his sarcasm.

Work Mates! ;)

Mizah

Yuni

Eqah

Us four inside my car top-down~ HEHEHEHE. I gave her that red lipstick :P My whole giving people make up randomly has not gone away~ I'm still pretty much me with whoever I'm with. 

:D It's here!!

I got a nice surprise when I got home from work! :D

A package arrived for me and inside the box waaaasss a box and a fancy looking leather notepad thing. It was sweetly placed at that secret place you said it would be at-- I check every single day and finally found something today! LOL. I'm only showing the exterior eheheh... since I promised this guy...

that the contents of what's inside the box would only be for my eyes... TEEEHEE. Thank you Andieeeee~ *huggles* It's totally a belated birthday gift BUT at least you cared enough to give me. Always being there for you and you being there for me and our late night talks about life and such was great -- inda ku rugi being your so-called "shrink". Just remember I'd always be there for you even if we don't talk a lot nowadays :( Life has kept us busy buddy! :) But its kaaay, I'll return the favor. Have fun in the US ;)

summery feel :)

I feeeeeeeeeeel giddy this morning :) and well, I just thought that the season of summer; with the sun kissing everyone's skin and the breezy weather, with wispy winds in our hair -- best suits that giddiness, don't you think? :) 

Nothing beats imagery to show how one feels, right?

flash - no flash.

a scene from one of those road-trips I took.

:) PURRRTEH!

(if you were wondering, yeah all the pictures above are mine, taken by me and everything~)

All the above pictures seemed more or less relevant to my whole summery mood :p the dress, the flats, the tall grassy area, endless roads with blue skies... *sigh* it's beautiful. (I'm thinking a flowery sun hat would be good here too! but nadaaa~ oh well) Honestly, to me, there's just something about summer that makes you feel slightly light-hearted right? hehehe... gosh I honestly miss being in the UK during summer now~! going during winter, this year :( BOOHOO! 

takpe takpe, haven't seen or felt snow in a while. Hehehe... Coco would think I'm INSANE for wishing about a snowy weather -- that girl hates the cold and winter with a Passion!! with a capital P! hehehehe... Oh and working at the Bureau has been really enjoyable; the people at my department/section thinks that I am pretty bubbly and "happy-go-lucky" (actual quote from them) but yeah, I am so ceria *snickers* that people seem to find me funny. LOL. I guess I should tone down my laughter a bit though... I am beginning to seem like a hyena on laughing gas (double the laughter) or something.... I laugh and laugh-- so much that when I don't or when I'm missing from work, people look for me! Like d'awww~!! makes you feel so special! hahahaha... 

I haven't blogged in a while and yeah, posting these last couple of posts took me ages :P I just get so tired every single day. They bring us to all four districts - repeatedly~! They take us to go here and there to arrange events, meet people, attend meeting and set up talks and what nots~ Don't get me wrong, this isn't me complaining~ it's merely my way of stating how much activity they give us that it's so enjoyable! :D DOWNSIDE THOUGH; they FEED US LIKE PIGS. I think I gained what I've lost for 6 months in just.. oh iunno~ a month? LOL. Aside from our daily (constant) activities, we also have the report and project to do. So yeah, it's been fun. Refreshingly different from sitting, listening and attending lectures. Roadshows are the best :) 

I promise to update more often... since I think I'm getting used to the slightly whirlwind pace of working at the Bureau. Honestly, I didn't expect we'd be doing anything much, other than clerical work on a desk when I first joined - like surprise surprise! This government institution doesn't seem to be like any other we have. Ho humm... okay.... I'll be off now. Busy running my own little cupcake business is also an added thing that goes onto the list of what makes me tired every day. 

Photo App Junkie

The only new picture is... the one above this sentence :p H.S. Yep, my initials on a mont blanc pen ;) cause I'm so rich liddat. HAHAHAHA jk. God I hate show offs. Anyhoo! Proceed to checking out the old photos that I just recently edited using all my new photo apps. 

I started a trend on instagram with my awesome collages and text editor thing. LOL. Bruneians are so sheep-like it's funny. They ask me what I use and then voila~ they follow suit, not that its not flattering. But yeah, it amazes me. OH! But it's cute how everyone joins in on the whole creativity thing :) bagus la bagusss~

Anyways, three photo app I always use is "camera+", "photo wizard" and a tie between "diptic"/"photo split". 

Hi~ Meet Appa!

I have never officially introduced Appa (it's a tabby cat not a tom cat btw) on my blog... 

Sadly, I haven't done it soon enough because something unfortunate happened... and well, she is now buried under the ground. :'( I miss her every single day, wishing that she had never left us. She was only shy of being a fully 5-month kitty. *sigh* No one knows how much I would cry even for a cat.

I miss you Appa, you would have been even bigger by now T___T

Ski-den-den

So... here's my car.

ONE WORD: EPIC!

hahahah... yes, when I saw the damage... I was sorely reminded of a certain friend who kept telling me to drive slow, wanted to check my alignment and told me to get my tyres changed... Lols... HMMMM... wonder how he's doing~

work work work :p

 DAY 1

Day 1 of work was surprisingly alright. I walked into the building a little apprehensive of what was in store for me... BUT EHHH.... Familiar faces are a welcoming sight x) I saw Ayuni and was immediately relieved. Then we met up with Mizah who arrived before us. The three of us sort of got along pretty well pretty fast actually~ LOL. I guess the chemistry was just right. But we barely did any work... we were mostly brought around to meet up with all the officers and whatnot.

I think it is indeed a good institution to have an internship at. Hmmm... a couple of people were sweet enough to remember that it was my first day of work and text me ehehehe *hugs fiqah, jason and adib* sweeties! x) lol.



DAY 2

On the first day we were so caught up with all the excitement of being newbies that we didn't quite have any food in us. So on the second day we practically stocked up on food! lol well actually it was just bits of food to last us the next two days :) I lanja'd the girls mugs... hahaha.. everything we bought was in threes. Second day we were told to do a lot of things, so that was a relief cause I can't handle another day of doing nothing. It gave me a headache staying put inside an air-conditioned room for most of the day tbh. =____=);

Light-buuuuuulb.

Been drawing lately! and those who follow or know me long enough know that it only happens if I've got something in my head. Usually if I have like an intense emotion inside of me my face would scrunch up into this epic expression that looks like a crumpled piece of paper. Kusut tah sudah tuuuu~ but most of the time it would look pretty blank, that's when I'm just trying to let something off my chest. Anyways... I drew something interesting! GIRLS! lol... and one has the whole cheekbone thing going on. 

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT! I've been thinking of something... As of late, like for the past few months... I've been trying to be a good little girl by earning money :p I'm trying to provide for myself, you could say that I guess. Things that my family buys for me are usually expensive and I'm not the most graceful person out there you see, thus I tend to drop things and what not-- basically I can be accident prone at times, so my 'property' gets damaged in the process... SO, as a way of making money immediately to meet such demands from my wallet *cough* well my parents' lah... HEE... I try to lessen it by doing all I can. So boo to people who claim I am a spoiled brat xp I still have a sense of responsibility and I do value money you know :p 

Which brings me to say that I took up a hobby of making cupcakes... THING IS RIGHT. I find that I could actually make a business out of this huh? It's funnnnn and people seem to like my cuppies :D

Honestly, I so have to thank Nabs' boyfriend for indirectly giving me this bright idea. If it weren't for him wanting more of my cupcakes and asking if I sell them I wouldn't have thought of doing anything like this... :) So for the months of holiday, I've been busying myself with cupcakes ^_^ 

Aaah... I somehow wish I was back in school though... Oh well! Interning should be a good experience :) I shall see how my life working behind a desk will be like x) lol. Ho humm... results are out... and I... got all Cs... not really.......... satisfying :( Oh well... *shrugs* shall do better next year.

cutie pies ^_^

So Jason actually bought this puppy when I told him how cute it was...

LOL! ADORABLE KAN!? I wish I could snuggle up to it... *sigh* I would love to get dogs if they were allowed. I keep thinking how the little general is doing ever since Jase has left for Hong Kong the past week....... My new year wasn't awesome because I was supposed to have spent it with si Awang Jason tapi he had to leave for HK for a bit...

BUT LOOK WHO'S BACK LAST NIGHT! :D Looking very tired... lol... sepet-er eyes than usual :p hahahaha I'm so mean x) But he doesn't mind HAA.... awesome guy.

Kaling majal.

Okay, that sounds rather racist, but Bruneians have this expression of saying "jangan majal ani, kaling saja majal" hahahahahaha... so look what I found :p or rather, look what my sister so kindly shared with the family on our little family chat on whatsapp the other day XD HEHEHEHEHEHEHE...

Do you know why this picture is the epitome of "kaling majal"? HAHAHA. It's pretty obvious :p 

pink. black. white.

Why, I've been thinking of starting a  " black-white project " thing... I've been giving myself things to do as a little loner for the holidays. LOL. sounds pathetic right? But you know what, I guess I need time away from friends and cousins and family~ I've been thinking of activities that only requires one person. Yep, that would be me, the lone wolf :p 

Sometimes I kind of think I don't really need 'need' them? But I guess it's out of habit that I tend to look for company, but I fare just well without them. I guess this is what Fakhrul meant by how I should find myself first as a person since I was always so attached to the thought of being a 'two-people party' when I was in a relationship for the longest time of my life. That's why I seem to be vying for company. Oh yuck, I sound so reliant on others. OH WOW, it seems so obvious now that I've put that down into writing.... *cough* okay, aku malu... lolololololololoololol. SO SORRY MI AMIGAS AND AMIGOS-- if I seem too clingy towards ya :p 

BUT ANYHOO, I shall start on photo series :) I've realised that all through out my life, I've always not voiced out my thoughts in a verbal manner. I do it through writing, sketches, painting, cooking, backing and even betukang! (that's woodwork for you) LOL. Did you know before my O'levels... I made myself a notice board.... like frames and stuff... LOL. and mind you~ this was like 2 days before my first exam! I was too nervous that I just had to take my mind off it. So I rummaged through my dad's tool box and took out hammer, nails, got some leftover wood from the store and that small chainsaw thing and I got bricks from outside to be the work-station 'stand'. You know, sometimes, I myself am kinda surprise how guyish that seems... -___-); I'm really a bunch of everything rolled into one. I supposed that's why this blog is called little miss a bit of everything :p OMG! totally digressed there... anyways, back to what I was saying...

I find that I just put out my frustration, guilt, sadness, confusion and whatever emotions I have through these various outlets... And well, eversince I got a camera phone when I was in year 7, I've developed another way of venting out emotions-- by way of photo-taking :D

I am seriously artsy fartsy. LOL. I put fartsy at the end, because I know it comes across as being fuxking pretentious to others and besides I think I'm an amateur. For this pink-black-white series, I've edited two pictures :) One of my niece and one of myself ;)

Simple yeah? But I think simplicity can be quite classy ;) too much can turn anything to be gaudy tbh. 

A story - revised.

A failed love story; but still every bit worthy to be told just as your successful ones~


If there's one thing that I've kept with me, something that I've always desired and wanted, throughout the years of growing up; is my hopeful naiveté of finding that one true love. For me, 'love' is a privilege everyone has a right to have, but not always smart enough to cherish, because love has a way of being taken for granted: the four lettered word with all its' complexities, its' tremendous influence - that has bitten and befallen each and every one of us. Some might have not felt love in their lives, but I can honestly say, they have yet to find it. All it takes, is a little hope, a bit of faith, an open heart and the courage of letting someone in.

One thing I've learned though, is that during the early years of my life -- my brainwashed perspective of love used to be so simple, so beautiful and well-- I blame Disney for that; I thought that if you loved someone enough, you'll get through any obstacles that come your way and if you sincerely put your heart on your sleeve there's a definite chance your love would be reciprocated. But how true does this statement ring, do you think? Well, it's a delightful lie society shoved down my throat in my years of adolescence. Something that I had to learn the hard way of course, but let's not get ahead of my story...

I was in my early teens-- a blossoming beauty, so inexperienced in matters of love; the times of experience was through movies, read it through books and such -- this lack of experience was what caused my confusion of love with the shallow flattery that the opposite sex would throw at my feet. Sweet words of countless boys back then did me no good, it poisoned my sense of sensibility. Little did I know, when I began to venture into the world of romance at the time, I was actually making a mockery of the word 'love', all the relationships I had then were nothing but empty flings one after the other. I suppose that's when everyone's childish tendencies towards love would start-- mine was exceptionally more childish because I went through boyfriends like they were no more than toys I purchased off of the stores' shelves.

I was insipid, reckless and fickle. A part of me wishes that particular past of mine never existed, I besmirched my own expectations of what love should be. Although, the only good that came out of it was that I found that it helped me differentiate between what was merely a temporary high and a grounding revelation of emotions.The thing about love, is that it can be found at the oddest of places, happens at the most unexpected of times and it can affect even the best of us. It's crazy how you would go out of your way to make that other person happy, how much of yourself would somehow change and grow into wanting to be better for that other person.

It was only in college that I realised nothing great or profound would come out of anything so short-term and superficial because anything that came out of such things was only short-lived and it left me feeling like shit most of the time. It used to make me think I was desirable the fact that I could barely remember how many boyfriends I've had. It was not that I was easy, getting me to fall for you was hard, but getting me to lose all feelings for you was so much easier on my part.

So, I remember thinking about all my past relationships with the guys in my life and wondering if any of them ever meant anything. The big question I've now asked myself, that no one can seem to answer in a quantitative, easily understandable, logical answer is: "How do you know if he's the one?" That one person that can make all the wrongs seem so right, who -- like in the movies -- would stand by you through anything; come hell or high waters, that one person would still love you unconditionally.

Just when I thought love was a guise men made up to get women to sleep with them in our hopeless pursuit of wanting to have a taste of that sweet wholesome love; I got a little morsel of it- a serving of something more long-term, real and worthy of being deemed as 'love'. The first of many before him, he was the guy that I truly loved and cared for, so naturally, I sought out to give him the best of me, he was enough, satisfying and most importantly, he was mine. I did anything and everything for him... I defended his integrity, supported his dreams and shared all his burden. Not once did I want anyone else, he was the perfect imperfection that I could live with and the sweet sincerity that I couldn't live without.................. or so I thought.

As a couple we had our problems of course, but then... I was blind. I couldn't see that promises were being broken, too hurtful words were being said and inconsiderate actions were being done. I was mistreated, but I didn't see it at the time, because I believed in every single assuring word he softly said in my ear. I believed it every single time when he said I was his future; the only one in his heart and that no one came close to competing with me. I was his girl, his only choice.

It could have been the distance between us or the dwindling passion that used to consume us, but it was there, like a sore thumb that stuck out -- after a while it was all too much, the air about us became uneasy; it was a painful reminder of the inevitable...I felt him slowly slipping away, he began to act disinterested all too suddenly and all too much. I feared of losing him completely to the world around us -- I would rather fight for what I believe could last, rather than admit that it was hopeless to fight a losing battle. It wasn't me to just let it be, but I was entertaining what seemed to be an act of stupidity. I openly showed my insecurities in the hopes of wanting to be assured and consoled. He did nothing of the sort, he only waved it aside as one of my antics to get his attention. That should have been sign enough, you'd think? But no...

I still thought nothing of it. I shoved those negative thoughts away, maybe I was just imagining things, I made excuses for him to make myself feel better. Pathetic! At times when I vented my frustration out in the open, he would get mad, so I held it in almost to the brink of being broken. Weak! I truly was in denial and too hopeful in thinking that he would revert back to his old self. The truth of the matter is, I had lost him a while back. I lost him to temptation, a temptation in the form an unscrupulous little slut who preyed on him despite knowing he was taken. But hey, it takes two to tango-- and he sure as hell didn't hesitate to dance to the sounds of infidelity.

It crushed me when the truth got out. I was helpless and weak... I detested him and more than anything I detested myself for letting him be the reason why I began to run my mouth off his shortcomings... I drank my sorrows away, let myself go a little too much, I was out of control and a mess. All the while when I was mourning (in my own crazy way) of our loss of what was (to me) a beautiful love, he was already starting to fall for someone else. Yes, this is how it looks when a love fails... But later I learned that the only one to blame is the one who changed, which was him... I stayed faithful and honest, because I saw what could have been if he had only tried hard enough, he would have himself a great woman by his side.

It's never easy for anyone to have found their love and then losing it to someone else. It's also hard when you try forgetting about them, because it has become a habit for those in love to associate things with their source of happiness, who knew that those same memories of association could turn painfully bitter. It breaks my heart every time I take a whiff of his familiar scent, my throat tightens when I take a familiar road that leads to a place that held our memories, my heart aches whenever I see traces of our relationship in the places we've been to and to the places we had plan on going to.

Recently, I've asked myself, time and time again; is love really worth the pain? Honestly, it's courageous of anyone to take the risk, you might either be plunging to your death by baring your soul to another person like that only on the slightest hopeful assumption that he feels the same way OR you could have probably made the best investment of a lifetime; a guy who is, in every way a physical, emotional and spiritual fulfillment that can do nothing but good to your existence.

After all that has happened, I still wish to love. Naïve, stupid or stubborn, I don't know which I am exactly~ Though sometimes, it's best to focus on other things other than your broken heart. For me, I look to a friend to get my mind distracted and when I talk to him even for a bit, I find myself smiling. I don't think it's because I've fallen for him; but I know for sure that he's a great reminder of a guy who can be a man about facing things with a mature air about him. I would want a guy like that one day. Never ever stop wanting to feel in love. One can always take a break... but never ever stop. I know I'm not ready to commit any time soon, but it's vital I keep an open mind (or rather, an open heart).

Despite everything that has happened, no matter how much it hurts and how long the pain lasts... I'm glad that I can still feel. Maybe one day, I'll find him, the true love of my life, not some cheap knock off, made in China.

 © Anyss Suhaimi .  

I've lost it!

I seem to have lost my shopping mojo. Usually, if you give me $600. I will freaking spend it in just an hour on at least 4 tops! Give me another $600 and I will buy two pair of shoes and a small selection of make up :) and u give me another $600 I'll buy myself a couple of bras and panties and give me more money? I'll find some other useless and (sometimes) useful random shit to spend on~ like little trinkets or perhaps even on nice duvets and whatnot!

If you've noticed I mentioned the amount $600 because yes, I had that much to shop with and I simply did not know what to buy... Or even found anything I wanted to spend on. I'm criminally more unlike myself than I originally thought I was. How shit!