That I am~

I was trying to be artsy? lol. fail x)

Scrapbook

So, for the second part of his gift, I made him a scrapbook. I thought of doing this after much thought and contemplation and I asked a buttload of people on giving me and useful suggestions~ FINALLY~ after three days. Yes, thought of making a scrapbook :D hehehe... something I can put my ♥ into...


Making everything took 3 days, over $50, several paper cuts and a couple of worrying thoughts where I wasn't sure what to do and whether he'd like it. I had to like get assurance from my friends saying that, as my boyfriend, he would love anything I made him x) lol and yes, it was true~ he adored it. He loves it and I became so happy~ heheheheheheheheehehe~



Tried to make the drawings more "3D" lol. yeah, bali cardboard apa and cutter... can you believe that I ACTUALLY USED A CUTTER??

I actually faced my morbid fear of cutters. I had a bad experience with it when I was in form 2. I cut someone's hand and I'm not exaggerating when I said I bled her almost to death. =( An ambulance was needed okay? I was so scared... and traumatized. whenever I look at a cutter... I would cringe and look away and get the heebie jeebies!!! D: BUT, as that was required for this little cutting task. I braved it. SHIT so awesome. that's how much love I have~ hahaha!!



:3 hee~


birthday/love message from le girlfriend :p

Made him a poem X) kehkehkeh



Yeah, I'm so romantic it's amazingly surreal! LOL! who says only CHICKS needs to be romanced? I totally think that guys deserve the same treatment once in a while, especially if yu really love the dude :D I am awesome. Don't disagree or be hatin'~ I know I am! XD

The ends of 2010 in Pictures :)

Here are a few pictures of things that I wanted to blog about, but didn't have the time to back in 2010. Just because I was a bit of a sloth back then :p hehehe... now I'll just briefly caption these pictures for your convenience x)

There came a time, when me and Nabs first ventured into Times Square in Gadong. Lol. our first time at coffee bean (we're total addicts now) this was way before we became TS-regulars. We go here like... AT LEAST once a week :O


resting after a day of shopping~ LOL she's bad for me! She's waay too good at being my shopping buddy x) lol we're bad for each other actually! :P

This was when we went up to the TS hotel illegally~ hahahaha~ cause we were so stuck up to pee in the shopping place's toilet. jk jk :p (but so true~)

yeah just some of the stuff I bought on that first day there saja niii~

A bag I bought, for school ;) Bought it the next week with Faiqah :3















Then there was that time, I was busy crazy going to school all the time...

that I even went to UBD at night for a frickin SINGING COMPETITION. like whuuut? anis does those things? lol~

Faie, Fiqah and her lil cousin.... Fatin (if I'm right)














Then I got a little crazy with photography apps on iPhone :)

I love my family at their buruk-est moments, early in the morning in our PJs. hehehe... Aidan was still less than a month old when this was taken.














There was that period in time where I obsessively played sims3 on the desktop.

I made a shitload of houses. But this one was the one I put most of my head into...

kinda wish I had a house like this

Beautiful exterior~ loving the landscape... HMMM~

e

Yeah I got crazy...

LOL I suck at making sims :p














Then there was that time, when I turned 20! lol. Nothing big :p



just one of those annoying times, when your phone/facebook keeps making a *TING!* sound. Believe me, that was just the beginning of it. There were up to 200 notifications in a day. It was... tiring. =( especially since I'm COURTEOUS ENOUGH TO SAY THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO GREETED ME, unlike some people *cough*


It was filled with food

fun and games

singing and dancing~

but mostly a lot of craziness... especially from this person.

I will so miss you big boobies, for the day when I slim down and flatten you to an oblivion.
















Aaaaand then, a stray found itself wandering into our compound one day...



I totally loved it, because it was kind of cute... hehehe

Either that, or I've just been deprived of cats!

But it honestly was quite adorable :3

I bonded with it... & actually named it 'Caramel'

Then it kind of made me sad when my parents told me to shoo it away...didn't have the heart to do it. So I asked my sister to do so :'(





Okay yeah, there you have it... :) A much happier post. Free of angry-- or rather, frustrated words/emotions ;D I'm still worried about something, but hmmm... distracting myself. Besides, I finished two essays by 3pm earlier today. Awesome feeling!


Slightly euphoric, but I exaggerate :p

KNEE-DEEP in SHIEET! ;D

Excuse me for having one or two posts below that is of me constantly swearing at a certain someone. She's been a bit of a... Pig. Id rather not say bitch these days. So aku Panggil ia the other haram thing in life la. Pasal ia cambaie~? Anyways we are not here to further elaborate on that.

For one thing; my week -- this week, has thus far been a hectic one. I'd love to unload on someone~ especially if it were my boyfriend but it seems like most if not all the people I know are busy and facing a crunch or are just in one of their foul mood or spells. *shrug* and so~ you have now found me hereeee in this nice little place I'd like to call my most faithful companion, called my blog. Pathetically, I'm growing really fond of this blog. It listens well *le duh~* lol! I think I should give it a name soon :p

So on Wednesday, I went out with Nabs, it was sort of my cry for help & I had fun with her~ well it cheered me up for quite a bit :) then it sucked again. Sucked the breath of life out of me, this week, I don't know why! Hheheheh maybe it was like my head playing games with me, but I vaguely remember that I actually entertained the thought of drowning myself in the pool downstairs. Hah! Downside of having a pool at home, it's a very convenient murder weapon to the likes of someone like me-- I can't swim you see :3

Anyways, just yesterday I was told to meet the AR of one of the faculties. I'm in trouble! Embarrassing as it is for me to resort to my blog to talk about this, but yeah~ what to do? I'm a terribly lonely-yet-not-quite-alone girl :') I mixed up my registration form, I'm knee deep in shit.. I don't want to bring this to my parents because its needless to worry them about something that happened from my mistake and my mistake alone. It's useless to blame it on anyone, I understand that I'm a whiny shit for still complaining eventhough I knew it's my own fault but omg OMG!! I can seriously ruin my GPA. :'( I cried myself to sleep like, twice. Can't get much work done.. Because it robs my concentration for most of the time. Dear lorrrrddd~ I have to sort this out somehow. This is so giving me a kickass lesson about how I should read instructions carefully and to be more careful with documents.

So yes, dear family friends and boyfriend... I wish I could talk to all of you about this. Part of me is kind of sad that I couldn't reach any of u, but then part of me loves using that as an excuse! Thaaaanks very much for reading this dear blogders. *heavy sigh* I think I'll go try and do my essay again...



Tofeelaloneinacrowdedroomistheloneliestfeeling.

hearts as dots!

I kinda love my handwriting ;) hehehe... sometimes I find it fun to write cause everything looks so neat and pretty. Dotting my i's with ♥ makes it look even prettier! :D

Sometimes it's the little weird and insignificant things,
that makes you smile quietly to yourself...

Again, I find myself in this same fucked up mess... I should stop having the need to blog about this. BUT OMG!! You know what!? Jangaantah lagi~ you have totally pushed me to the point of where I can't even say I want you in my life anymore! :( you seriously need to reflect upon your actions. Sad thing is, I don't even know if you think you know you're being such an offensive Lil fucker... >:( I am not going to stay around you any longer! We are so through being what we used to be... Xp






p/s: If you never valued me as a friend then don't even try asking for forgiveness kalau kau terasa! Xp but if you ever felt even a speck of respect for me then by all means... You know where to find me.

Not quite there...

Once there was a young lady; neither worldly nor childish, who lived a normal life - a life that wasn't dreary but still lacked an explosive excitement. She was a pretty young thing, on the surface all that everyone could see was that she was quiet not necessarily shy, she was just unable to express herself as much as she'd love to. You see, this lady was but a girl, a girl who knew things, but were naive to certain aspects of it.

To her, the past was a regretful thing; she was unbearable, scheming, lost, angry, bratty and selfish. Her present was challenging; she knew whatever she got now was karma - life is the biggest justice system out there. And as for her future? It remains unfathomable. One thing is for sure, is that she felt like she didn't belong-- she didn't quite fit in.

So everyday, she wondered to herself: what am I doing wrong? Why do I always feel so... Alone?. She found herself amused and happy in the company of friends and family. There were also times when their existence brought her down, but she didn't take it too hard or to heart. She saw no need to lengthen something so negative... The irony is that, despite her outlook on trying to be positive in that sense, she lacked the same perspective about everything else. She was always so hard on herself. Always. Never ever did she feel like she was good enough and it slowly ate her from inside. Slowly she set out to become what she eventually became; a big fat walking contradiction.

What a girl wants...

Nawwww, what this girl wants is a guy who would go out of his way to make time for her, it doesn't have to BE everyday. But sometimes it's nice to know that you're not all that lonely, even if you're physically alone. It's not that I'm needy but I thought preferential treatment towards your special person and to expect attention from that special person is only natural?

Or maybe...

Maybe I'm just being bogus. I'm a lover of the dramatics. A sensitive soul that bruises easy.

My lips are sad. I think I've been wearing an unhappy expression lately. It's driving me nuts, I think I'll go and die on my bed nao, yes, ima just go sleep.

.

It's a fuxking shame that I have to put myself in this same situation all the fuxking time. Repeatedly over and over again. Like what? Do you find this amusing? That you keep on pushing and pushing me to my limit.. Are you trying to see me breakdown and cry? Do you want to see if I'll stick around if you give me a hard time? Do you huh? DO YOU?! Bloody pig.

Ahemahem

Sorry that the pictures from the past few posts have been monumentally huge! X) hehehe... Im using my iPhone to blog nowadays... Hee... It's like I don't need a laptop. I've been using this for basically evth! To send emails, wirte essays, joy down notes or schedules, take pictures, blog, do research, watch videos, make recordings and whatnot! Most of all, it's an mp3 AND can entertain me with all it's gamesssssss!

It's an awesome gadget. I really dont know why some people deny the awesomeness of this smartphone. Like, don't be hatin' and generalise iPhone-users as common sheeps-- Well okay lah, I know some are being sheeps cause it's a trend or fad to get this phone, but honestly, it's a great investment and like I've mentioned before, it serves as more than a phone. So sheep pun sheep la~ hahaha personally I got it because of the games. I'm a "softcore" gamer. HAH! x) so it suits me well :p

I admit I love Nokias, but it's not like an iPhone at all :) blackberry is kinda cool too. Idk abt the new one, but the old one kinda had a lame joystick-like button navigator thing.

Our business (ad)venture

Haven't blogged much! Life has been ungraceful nor unyielding with my race against time~ Life as we know it, is never a walk in the park-- well my life isn't that bad, but you know~ i get the occasional headache every now and then. Especially what with all the weddings happening and these big projects going on at our school. *sigh* I don't like being dragged to places or be asked to do things when I'm on work mode. I'd just really appreciate it if they let me rest and work at my own pace/time.

Well, thing is the big projects for school ate quite refreshing and fun~ in a way it's fun because we're actually being asked to do things; we're going to do enterprising in April and this month; March: we're asked to come up with a business proposal and actually register the company if need be! awesome stuff :3 but it's a lot of work~ :(

Yesterday we went to the "mahkamah" with the intention of registering out company's name~ :D

Okay! Pictures~!




They're trying to look serious for the camera :p

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Then burst our laughing~ XD hahahah awesome :p

Then fahrul suggested that we go to this place in Beribi to try out this drink~ hehehe... It was nice, a little too sweet for my liking. I don't have much a sweet tooth, IDK why~Well, thats just a few of the pictures :) later~!

My heart longs for you...

I miss him again~ Hee... I can never get tired of feeling the need to want to see him :) it's just great the way I still have those feelings even after a very long time of being together! :D

Its so sad that even looking at his picture can make my heart go ♫ badunkadunkdunk~ ☻


Lol, now that's kind of like lustful I think, or NOT! I think it's more love ♥ Hee~


Anyhoos~ I bought him a gift. It's suppose to be for his birthday but like, that seems way to soon~ I guess it'll do~ He likes red. Thus the choice of color ;)


I hope he likes it! Giving it to him via his momma! They're paying him a visit this Easter~ how trés bien!

Mama's Birthday~

Happy 56th Birthday Mumzy Dearest!

Love you a whole lot woman! hehehehe~ It was my mama's birthday today, we celebrated by having a 'doa selamat' which I suppose roughly translates to a celebration of thanks; a thank you to her long life :)

Then we surprised her with chocolate cake! Funny story about that~ hehehe... my sister in law, Kaka Maya was confused when Kaka Mizah cut the cake with ease. See, she thought the cake would be much difficult than that to cut~

"Eh steady jua Mizah cut cake atu ah" she said to me
"Hahahah napakan?"
"Cause ka maya last time cut the cake, it was so hard, like you really had to use all your strength"
"Ehh... did you want to order 'Ever Crunchy' kah?"
*looks doe-eyed* "OMG, awwwuuu boohhh marah abg ni nis"


Lol, apparently Abang wanted the Ever Crunchy and she ordered chocolate crunch :p hehehe awwwh well~ haha x)



Here's dear ol momma cutting the cake :)


Here's the cake: Happy Birthday Dearest Mama. Luv your family.



Okay, now check this fatty out! hahahahah... omg so cuteee and chubby I wish to squishhhhh himm!! SQUISH!! (okay, people it's just a figure of speech!) Don't accuse me of child abuse :O


"I ARE SQUISHABLE"

Sexy.

"I'm Lexi, like... Sexy~!!"

IKR, totally random. Just a phrase from ugly betty. totally stuck to me for some very odd odd odddd reason *shrugs* bite me. HARD.... on the ass, for my candidness.

Here's an irksome or rather tiresome theory. People's take on sexy. SO what's sexy? what defines sexy or being sexy or looking sexy or well being the 'sex'. I just naturally assume that's another form of the sexy word sexy. hehehe... hope that confused you a bit :p In all honesty, labeling things is already tiring and putting the word "sexy" to something is even MORE tiresome. Like, the definition is soooo overused and yet, there isn't an exact mono way of defining in. NO! actually WORDS are tiring. why the fuck do we have to even use them?

BLAH! okay... anyways, back to what I was saying.

Let's be technical with it first, what "defines" sexy? By definition of the dictionary... Here's what the word means:

sex·y (sĕkˈsē)

adjective sexier sex·i·er, sexiest sex·i·est

1. Arousing or tending to arouse sexual desire or interest.
2. Slang Highly appealing or interesting; attractive: “The recruiting brochures are getting sexier” (Jack R. Wentworth).

Heh... That's pretty basic stuff right there. Now, here's to a much wider scope of definition. Things can never BE more complex in today's modern world :p It's cause we peeps from the modern era are so coo' like that~ *snorts* x) Before I continue any further, I'd like to say that *ahem* this is a minor POV of one teeny tiny person :p i.e. moi~ hehehe, but with close references to the other girls I hang out with.

Aside from the ALREADY complexity of how describing people's personality-- not just looks as sexy is already a trifle confusing and full of variations.

I know for a fact that there are people who find guys that are loud-mouthed and well, crude-ish and aggressive and sooo full of himself and assertive, as sexy. I just find that overbearing.

Then there are girls who find a man who has a huge intellectual capacity but is so down to earth about it as being sexy. To me, that's cool and all, but iunno~ kinda boring.

My kind of sexy is sort of a mix of both, with a tinge of exuding confidence. Someone who can strike up a conversation; both intellectual and pretty much random or plain stupid/humorous-- with just about aaaanyonee~ :) Though sometimes, the degree of confidence I like in a guy combined with his playfulness maaaay sometimes lean towards the cocky side. which might be a tad aggravating for some girls, but I find adorable! X) pasal durang kambang and its so cali~ HAHAHAHA.


As for looking sexy? Hmmm...

I know that some women find the unshaven tousled, unmade bed-hair look sexy. Some like guys with an expression of coolness -- or well hard expressions with a "I'm-a-better-class-of-itinerant" look attractive. Well I find some of those sexy, depends on the guy, if he can carry that look well then okay yeah, hubba-hubba that totally works for youuu baby~ lol.

I like guys who brood. weird huh? I like it if they're all serious looking around everyone~ or just like, most of the time if he isn't talking lol. Because it makes his smile all the more heart-warming! when he flashes those pearly whites at me... like *melts* HEEHEE ♥

While others find themselves attracted to the challenge of a guy's character sexy, like wanting to make a bad boy good. Lol. Or something like that~ to me that's a 'sexy' situation. Ahhh~ I'm beginning to lose sight of what I'm doing.

*cricket sounds*


Hmmmm... sometimes I wonder if I have ADD. heheeheheh.. whoops! I think I'm just tired... what the hell was I thinking blogging about this so early in the morning? LOL! Goodbye!

And farewell thee~~ fair month of february~