Quality Time.

So... having gone out with him, yesterday and earlier today has made me realised how much I've missed his physical presence T_____T

I was like suffering from what I call "oh-em-gee-I-can-be-in-his-arms-again-syndrome"!! No really, I was like LOVING every minute of it. Like le sigh~ his arms... his hands... just hugging his form was like *sniff* missed it so much. Can't blame me for wanting to spend time with him all the time... I mean, we've been apart for roughly one year. A YEAR. that's like 12 months, 360+ days and what the shit man... how many hours and minutes are there in a year? A lot is all I can say. And I only spend like~ Oh I don't knowww~ roughly on average 5 hours with him, whenever we meet up? See how puny that figure seems next to the figures I've mentioned ealier? D:

You know what I have? I have an eternity worth of love to give to him. Lol wtf. Here are a couple of pictures we took of eachother~ :p Mostly candid X) but surprisingly turned out pretty nice :O I guess everything looks better when you're all happy and in love... ♥ ♥

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA okay, that was a gag-worthy comment, I is sorry to have offended you. hehe...

(in any case though, it's true :p haha) ♥

Hmmm.. was browsing through what very little picture I took of myself/everyone during my stay in the UK. I found a nice one of me with this lovely lovely top... :3

aaahh.. okay. I'm in a good mood for now :p

Technology...

Good Morning! Today's an exciting day :) I'm up early. hehehe... Meeting up with him :D I'm happy happy happy!

So... I think I'm sort of addicted to electronic goods. I'm constantly surrounded by anything related to technology; mostly in the "electronic goods" sense. Technology is basically something that includes the use of machinery or equipment that's been developed to make things easier.

So, here I ask, is it really that bad to be dependent on technology or those e-goods? I mean, I don't think so, but maybe that could be because I've gotten used to a consistent standard of living or way of life. I may not have the best of things, but they're good enough :p

Here are some 'machinery' or 'equipment' of technology that I find quite essential, well actually I find that having purchased them wasn't a bad decision, at all.

an okay camera? check! ✔

- I got a 13.6mp camera which I bought like... uhmmm 2 years ago? It's not state of the art camera with all that zooming shit, I mean a professional photog would seriously think of it as shit, but I'm a point and shoot type of person. I take pictures of everything and at least the quality aint shit if it aint the best.

an entertaining game console? check! ✔

- I was given a PS3 for my birthday :D I'm not an avid gamer, but I love gaming nonetheless.. Who can deny the awesomeness of sony's awesome ps3 game console? :P I'm a proud owner of one :) find myself quite lucky

a working desktop? check! ✔

- Though it may be slightly outdated, but good enough, I can print my work cause it has a printer :p Which makes me

a non-obsolete laptop? check! ✔

- Well it might be slightly dated NOW, but back when I bought my macbook pro, it was quite awesome :p

a good enough phone? check! ✔

- I bought the iPhone 3GS earlier this year? it's a smartphone and I never regretted buying it cause well, the only thing why I think it's cool it's cause I love all the available applications~

a good working car? double check! ✔ ✔

- well, I got a Mazda 2 already, ever since I was 16 and then my parents bought me a Lexus SC430.... though it was not really MY choice -____-); BUT, who gets a Lexus without asking for it right? lol. I'm actually more of a Mazda person... but hokaaii :D

I have handheld portable games and well... I pretty much think that I'm quite "fortunate" ROFLMAO. Okay inside family joke :p hehehehe... *ahem* But seriously, awesome that I even own these things. Things aren't too shabby for me :)

Although, I have to say, my hi-fi/stereo is pretty uhmmm old. I have one but nehh... I need to find something better. New room calls for new things!! :D

Maybe by the end of first semester, I'll buy an awesome TV for my room~! :D ho yeah! Put my PS3 in my room tarus... nyahahahaha~ I really want a TV... Something pretty, cause my parents are giving me like... a 37" hdtv... but it's Phillips... and yeah. Again, not really my choice? D: But I'd rather not complain now... since like, they're giving it to me? So I take whatever they give :3 I'll just buy something really good for myself with my own money.

Maybe during my final year, I'll buy my own desktop that's up-to-date. Something fast enough so that I can play sims3 or (hopefully, with the will of God) in the future, sims4! :D teehee~

Amal's day.

So, my cousin's birthday was roughly like a week ago, the 22nd~

But like yesterday, she and I had our own little celebration :) We just had sushi - my treat, cruised around for a bit and then grabbed drinks and then hung out at my place for a while. Then I got bored and started plucking her eyebrows and putting makeup on her hehehe :p she looks different, even my boyfriend said so! It's pretty interesting what make up can do to you O_O kan kan?

Anyways, considering that yesterday was like one heck of a memorable day. Get this, we never like, had sushi together before! hahahahaha I knowww riiight what the hell~ and the fact that yesterday she wore make up which is like kind of a big deal, cause she doesn't usually have like a full face make up on.

We vained... and made faces. Lol.

Interior Designing

Hi, if you follow me on twitter: nissinis (that's the link, right there) you'd know that I've been busy designing the interiors of bedrooms for my sister, my parents and for myself.

The task is pretty simple isn't it? I find that it's neat that they want me to design their rooms :3 I am honoured! because you see, if always had a keen interest in interior decorating, I love building houses, rearranging and refurbishing furniture, mix-and-matching things... (one of the reasons why I love playing the sims expansion pack so much) I never had the chance to do it with my rooms. I say roomS because all my life, I've already had two bedrooms in this samehouse-- we keep renovating bah =_=); if I move now, this next room would be my third room~! :D

I guess they're just trying to indulge me in designing because I've never taken the path to which would lead me to that career, because I stay away from all things mathematical all this time (ironic that I'm taking business, I know) They know I love designing-- I imagine a lot in my head, so yeah. Hahaha~ I'm a TERRIBLE drawer though ahahah wth X) But it's decent enough!

I don't use pencil to draw because-- I have no idea why I don't actually, I used colour pencils instead... hahaha but you know despite using colours, I don't colour properly... =/ I just realised that I was never good at colouring T__T lol. I'm just good at picking materials and matching things and picturing it all in my head. HAA. lame -_-)

Care to look at my *ahem* adequately drawn and poorly shaded/coloured sketches? MAYBE, once everything is completed. I'll show you how they look with the right colour/materials, in real-life yes? :3 see how the end product looks like :D I'd want to see if they look just as good as how I picture it in my head.

Though I have to admit, it was not all really to my taste cause they insisted I made it simple and my parents wanted me to redesign the whole thing after they changed their mind about their concept *sigh* I don't mind~ but lol, it's funny I really feel like I was hired by the three of them to draw up these sketches. I consult them and they tell me what they want and the concept and I suggest a few things and bring a few sketches to them till they like it and wahh~ it's just exciting~ I'm freelancing *snorts* yeah~ but it's fun to pretend :P

However, sometimes I get kind of tired... I keep making designs and they go "Ohhh but that's not practical, it's pretty but think of how it'll collect dust and stuff" :( I was meant to make things looks pretty! not to be practical *sobs* oh well, so I'm trying my best to be practical with how I design things; the goal is to utilize the space to it's utmost potential and that the design would enable the upkeep to be easy.

My concept would be white on white and glass/mirrors all over. White furniture - that has got mirrors and glass in it's design, on (sort of) white laminated floors... One dark deep purple/lavender for the feature wall with perhaps white horizontal stripes or a silhouette of "something" painted. I will have tons of fun decorating my room :D hehe heh...

I'll post up pics of my sketches tomorrow perhaps :) I haven't taken a picture of them yet :p

If I was older and had like a husband or maybe a bigger room... I'd have made my room sport a more classic theme :) like this...

BUT ALAS, things aren't like that :(

what to expect when expecting.

SURPRISEE~!! I'm Pregnant!!

HAHAHAHAH... okay not funny :P

I've always wondered...

Oh before that, sorry for not updating on a regular basis. I've been pretty much busy trying not to eat, doing my work out and being out of the country and hmm... well pretty much doing errands. Juggling these many things isn't a walk in the park. I figure that once I bring my butt back to the Uni life, I'll be even more... strung. x)

Believe it or not, I have yet to make time for my lessons. It's getting pretty annoying how I don't have fixed times to go about doing them. I don't like that it's not done in consecutive days-- puts me off really. But whatever, I'm doing my best nonetheless.

Anyways... I've always wondered how it'll be like to give birth. My boyfriend and I were talking about... families and family issues and then one thing lead to another, then we talked babies and about having them...

So with that little opening, I somehow revealed like a "not-so-big-of-a-deal" secret :P since my boyfie's the first to know about it just now, I suppose it won't hurt to say that I have morbid thoughts about giving birth.

HEE...HEE...

well... I've always had a somewhat slight fear about it. Like how you need to be extra careful prior to giving birth when you are with child and how there's like (even if it's just) a small possibility of a mother dying as she gives birth.

As poetic that might seem; you know, your own life for the new life of your baby-- I can't help but think how scary it is. I hope I'm not scaring all those potential mother-to-be(s) hehe...

I'm being silly, one of my ludicrous notions :p I just think too much about unnecessary things. My boyfriend agreed and he reassured me that the possibility is very slim. But nyeeeh... Whatever the case, I still believe that having a tiny little heartbeat in your womb is something that's worthwhile.

Have you ever thought about it though? Like seriously thought about it? How big of a deal it is to have your mother? The risk she puts herself in every single time she gets pregnant? LIKE SERIOUSLY?? she COULD have died, by bringing you in back then-- the possibility always LINGERS okay? But ahhh... tawakkal saja.

So here, take the time to appreciate your mother, no matter how unfair she might seem to you right now... or how outrageous her requests might seem to your raging teen hormones. LOL. I like saying that, because it's true, Hormones -- not just in teens -- makes you frickin' irrational and stupid :p

You know what, go kiss your mother on the cheek right now! thank her for bringing you into this world and for all the burden she carried on her back, all on your behalf and also, thank her for not dying... because imagine being motherless...? That's too painful, that's a big unpleasant ordeal you know, it's more painful and damaging than you could have imagined. Thank her for being your mom... :D

I love you Hasnah, my beautiful mommeh :3 ♥ ♥

You and daddy gave me pretty genes. hahahaha :p and not to mention smart genes and hmmm... blame my mom for me being a sappy/sensitive cry baby :p

I love that top... because I just do. ahahahaha :p Bought it from zara :3

I love that top too and and and not to mention my baby boy *smothers him with a tight hug* teehee ♥ I love youuuuu izul.

Ima kiss him now. or well, imagine to do it... hahaha... I have not met him yet. like GRRR. I tahan this long already =( *sigh*

what's eating me.

I'm scared to face another day, cause the fear in me just won't go away, in an instance you were gone

...and now I'm scared.

Look a little closer...

If you had looked just a little closer, you'd see that I'm different from the others. You'll see my worth, my flaws and yet, me being just another human being with emotions.

At first, I'm just like any other, from afar -- from just a mere scan or a passing look. You'll think; "oh okay, she seems like the others, treat her in so and so way, play your cards right and you'll gain everything."

I've been feeling rather jaded lately, well not jaded per se, but you know... I feel much less, "flowery". So you know what I've decided to do? To get that magic feeling once more? The feeling that love is ultimate, it makes you feel alive and that imperfections just made your love seem more beautiful because overcoming that obstacle IS ell-oh-vee-ee (LOVE) ♥

.... I've been watching Disney Movies. Nothing like awakening that little kid in you, that little girl with blind naivete, who was constantly hoping to fall into a love that seems sooo perfect and believing that life is a fairytale; that families loved you and that friendship was true and that love gave you the courage to take that leap of faith in an instance without hesitation, without any doubt no what ifs not maybes. nothing.

So yes, disney classic movies are delectable little things~ x)

cute picture of a cat that seems to blend quite well into that row of onigiri :P

:')

One of my favourites ♥ ♥ This song says a lot about how it's hard for us to say things to our girlfriends when it comes to the skeletons of our own relationships with our significant other. It eats u slowly inside and boy oh boy, does it take a lot of practice to pretend to be all happy in front of your friends.



It makes me tear up a bit whenever I listen to this, cause I find it to be beautiful to have those kind of friends. Plus it's a nice video clip, love how they followed sex and the city :3

It's after midnight and I'm youtubing all these emotional songs. lol. Thought I'd share this one.

hah. wow.

So... someone posted up their status as:

"Nothing is bigger than love."

and you know, back then I'd have liked that status in an instance and gave a smile emoticon to it.

But something's different now, isn't it? I don't know why I changed or how it happened or since when this began, but I seem to feel about things quite differently... instead the thing that instantly came into my head was "are you sure? I beg to differ"

and I commented on it with this: "heh... sure." after I hit the 'comment' button. I gasped.

Omg. I turned slightly cynical! x_x

Yup, so much for supporting young love. I just peed all over that young girl's notion of love. I'm like the grinch for love or something. Like whut? what in the world is happening to this hopeless romantic? Aging, growing and living isn't exactly a good thing is it? It changes people and their perspectives.

Ahh... well. I might've just hit a little ditch or pothole in the road. Maybe my PMS is coming soon (^_^)v

no alterations.

nothing but the light form the sun.

shopping is a sanctuary

Let's just say... my camera is being anal. So yeah... Bad quality pictures using the laptop webcam x)

tops and belts

jewelleries and compact mirrors

PJs, robe, bras and panties

random stuff that I bought out of sheer spontaneity. they were either cute or I *thought* I needed them.

have I mentioned my pictures are reflected? lol. well, they are.

Furla Bag

Gucci Bag

Longchamp bag... In case you're fashion illiterate. It's pronounced Laun-shamp. If there was audio, I'll have explained better. but yeah it's defintely not long and then champ. It's french, not english x)

I found a better picture of my bag :D

I guess this I shall use for more formal occasions :)

Here's a list of what I bought during my two weeks plus days in UK:

The "clothing" category:

13 tops

2 jumper/jacket

4 PJs - shirt

3 PJs - a set of shirt and pants

20 pair of Undies

5 bras

1 Jeans

1 Jeggings (again if you don't know, that's a pair of leggings that looks like jeans)

8 pair of socks

2 headscarves from tie rack

mostly bought from next, zara, jane norman and dorothy perkins.

The "accessories" category:

3 necklaces

3 bracelets/bangles

3 rings (+1 for him)

3 belts

2 compact mirrors

a 'Burberry' wallet

a laptop bag

an 'Uncommon' iPhone casing

spectacles casing

The "make up" section:

curling iron

make up brushes

an eyeliner

mascara

The "stationary" category:

2 pen-drives

several cute page clips

several keychains

a lion and bear bookmark

drumstick pencils

And uhmmm...

2 umbrellas

a cool door sign that say "be nice or leave" lol. I know right... impulsive buying.

some chocolates

boyfriend gave me Dr. Dre beats headphones

and as you can see from the pictures earlier on... Bags.

I regret not pushing myself not buying...

the camera

the salvatore ferragamo bag

and the iPad

people were so against me buying them... well they advised me to do otherwise... and now I regret listening to them. *stabs table repeatedly*

Cambridge

Cambridge is a nice place. I love the old buildings, I especially love the shopping centres, the people aren't half bad either... :) I mean, they aren't racist and some are quite friendly, except for a bullshit few. hohoho... well not racist exactly, but you know, they aren't that amiable to be around.

Please don't wonder if I had fun with my boyfriend from the beginning of the 8th (date that he was suppose to come visit me down in Cambridge) BECAUSE I DIDN'T! :( the most dreadful thing happened, he and I couldn't meet up due to uhmm.. unforseen circumstances which required him to stay in London *sniff* and I'm left to feeeeeel mighty desolated but thank goodness for retail therapy :D I spent over £600 in just four shopping trips!! Isn't that just marvelous? teehee~ :D

I bought like... 10 tops, including two cardigans. A belt... stationaries, perfume... I also bought a looooot of necklaces, a few rings and braceletes, a new ''baju'' for my iPhone and a lot of pyjamas and bras and panties and omg~ I have CUTE pendrives. huhuhu and get this, I bought socks :P I know right, I buy the oddest things when I'm on a shopping craze, I'm seriously out of control XD and I bought a lil something for my friends. I thought of buying them something cute, but practical at the same time? something I know they'd use for at least once in their lifetime-- also something unisex. lol. YES, that's right~ I bought all of you cute little portable cameras! XD pfffttt not :P (sorry bui, u know who u are, inda cukup duit ku balikan camera)

And oohhh~ I met a friend of mine :P won't say who, but yeah, she came with her boyfriend, he seems like a cool guy so far, hope it'll only get better. I hope this one's the one :3

Weather's been gloomy since the day after we arrived, seems like the rains coming in at a lot of parts of the UK. So since it'll be all wet, I gave myself the liberty of buying a new broli :D and a nice jacket to keep me warm -- though I don't use it, but it was Zara and it was cute :P

I cannot wait for the 15th! I'll FINALLY be able to see my boyfriend and hug him *sniff* I miss him so much, it's hard being in the same country, yet still not being able to see him. It's like, he's just a train or two away; so close, yet so far... so very very far. Hmmm... everything's been great so far! :D it's just that my Aunt is making things a little unbearable sometimes, she's like annoying sometimes and says unncessary things that just about pisses me off every time. I mean honestly, I know you're kirakan a 'guest', but darn it! GUESTS are also expected to act and behave in a certain way, geez... stop being so selfish... =_= ''If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all'', other than that, everything's just fine and dandy :D

Accomodation is great here, I'm staying at my sister's place, Cambridge University has a very nice campus right... and well, it's awesome that my sister has HDtv and a ps3 and wii and like... I've been playing Red Dead Redemption and Heavy Rain on the ps3 with my 2nd sister and Let's Dance on the wii with my first sister. It's nice :) family time and bonding and all that shiz :P

I pretty much do go online... I just don't exactly uhmmm... stay on for very long-- I basically just check on my game on facebook, so that's why I'm fianlly blogging about all this now. Just to squeeze in a quick update. So please don't get offended if I don't get back to your facebook thingies ASAP. I just don't really have time... X)

take it in

Have you ever felt, in an instance... that you're the ugliest thing there is? that nothing about you is beautiful, neither inside nor out. Like being held or seen as something beautiful is something that you are not suppose to ever experience....I just feel like a fool. Unworthy and worthless. I'm...Ugly and you shouldn't trust me... I'm to blame for it, no really. It's really hard for me to actually see my worth right now. Even as these tears fall, I see no reason why I should even cry. If you can't make me feel beautiful then I guess I'm not. If I can't make myself feel beautiful then I really must be fuck ugly... let's be ugly on the inside too. I put myself down and I'll try not to give a shit to any self-defecating remarks I make of myself. Take it in, take it like a man and face it alone.

❤ me